Bev White: "They have looked after us and it's our duty to look after them"

Bev White, a business owner and mother of one, started a support group called Living Positively at Home for employers of HIV-positive domestic workers after her child's nanny, Thandi, was diagnosed positive three years ago. She talked to IRIN/PlusNews about her experiences.

"My initial response was: keep Thandi on. I said to Thandi, 'We're going to just keep this day by day, and there'll be nothing negative'. I must be honest, though, I was worried because my initial doctor said to me that if your HIV-positive nanny or maid has either TB or flu, it could be passed on to the child. That's a valid comment. However, at the time I had the flu; the child can get a bug from anywhere.

"Thandi's CD4 count [which measures the strength of the immune system] has never been under 300. She eats well, and we look after her. [A normal count in a healthy, HIV-negative adult is usually between 600 and 1,200.]

"I have seen one of my workers - our security guard - die from meningitis. I don't know if he was HIV-positive, but he contracted meningitis and I took him to Johannesburg General [Hospital]. I carried on paying him even though he wasn't working, and I visited him to bring him food. Five days later, he died.

"Then his wife also became very ill two years later, and she was my nanny working in the house but she didn't tell me she was HIV-positive. I started to notice the signs and very gently asked her how her health was. After over a year, I asked her directly and she said, 'yes' [she was positive]. I told her to go home to Zimbabwe to see her children and I gave her some stuff to take with her.

"She phoned me recently to say that she was back in South Africa and asked if she could come and see me, and I said, 'yes', but she hasn't called back.

"I know HIV status is a personal thing and it's up to the individual [to disclose]. I have a gardener and he looks like a walking skeleton, and we keep him on because he mustn't lose his income from us. I did ask him once if he knew his HIV status. He said, 'No, Madam'. I try to make him soup and things, but he doesn't eat it.

"Most of the reactions [from other employers in the support group] were very positive; there were a few who were scared. I'm not scared of getting infected, but I've had people phone me saying they're worried about their nanny preparing food. There still is a level of unawareness amongst your average white, female middle-class suburban mum.

"As employers, we're under pressure to not only look after our families but also our staff. You form a working relationship and then it's a huge blow to find out that they may not be well. But if the person is not well, we have the ability to look after them. They have looked after us, and it's our duty to look after them."

ks/he

See also: "Is there a virus in the house?"