Albertina Nyatsi: "You don't have to suffer in silence; you don't have to suffer at all"

"I grew up in the north. My father died when I was two years old and I was raised by my mother. I have two brothers and five sisters.

"Two things I really like to do are teach and communicate with people about HIV. This is a big job in Swaziland: the most conservative survey showed that over a quarter of the adult population are HIV positive, but most people won't get tested.

"They are like I was - living in denial, denying that AIDS is a serious problem, and denying that they can get infected. It comes from fear - you are afraid to know the truth about your condition. One reason is that you fear your family will abandon you. My family did not.

"I have a wonderful relationship with my daughter. She is 17 and we live together in a flat. She knows about my HIV, and maybe it has brought us closer together.

"A lot of people who find they are HIV-positive keep it a secret, even from their loved ones. They worry that their families will reject them, but you must give your friends and loved ones credit. If you believe in them, maybe they will believe in you. My daughter has put up with a lot from people who say things about me because I am HIV-positive, but she still loves me and we depend on each other.

"It is not easy being HIV-positive. My condition cost me my job as a teacher, I believe. I was educated at St. Elizabeth Institute in Lesotho, [then] I was posted by the Ministry of Education to Zinyane Primary [in northern Swaziland] to teach grade-seven home economics.

"By then I was HIV positive. I'm not sure how I got infected, but most likely it was through intercourse. At first the doctor told me I had TB [tuberculosis], and he asked me to test for HIV because he said it was an opportunistic disease that can be found in HIV-positive people. I was very shocked when I got the result. I thought, 'I am not thin like those AIDS people in the newspaper'.

"I told the head teacher - I felt I had to because I was sick and I was away from the classroom for a time. Two weeks later, he told me to go home and not come back. He said my contract would not be renewed; he did not give a reason.

"I got another posting to Emcengeni Primary [also in the north] and it was a different story altogether. I believe people should be honest, and if you hide something you can become stressed, which is bad for you medically. So I told them that I was HIV positive and the head teacher and the other teachers have been very supportive.

"Nowadays, I speak to people about HIV and they can relate to me, because before I got tested I denied the seriousness of HIV. I tell the groups I speak with that 'I am like anyone', I am like them.

The organisation I helped form, Swazis for Positive Living, is about this: you don't have to suffer in silence; you don't have to suffer at all if you take care of yourself and have a positive attitude."

jh/ks/he