People think because I can't see, I can't hear either

Catherine Wanjiku is a visually impaired teacher from Thika District in central Kenya who was diagnosed with HIV in 2001. She told a recent media briefing on HIV and the disabled about her difficulties in accessing HIV services.

"I am a mother of six young men, and a widow - my husband died in 1996. When I fell very ill in 2001 and the local hospital couldn't find what was wrong with me, I asked my children to take me to Kenyatta National Hospital [Kenya's largest referral hospital, in Nairobi, the capital].

"I was admitted, and though they did many tests and I kept asking, no one would tell me what was wrong with me. One day I heard two nurses talking as they walked away from my bed towards the door. It's funny - people think just because I can't see, I can't hear, or I never had an education.

"Anyway, one nurse asked the other: 'What's wrong with her?' and the other one replied, 'She's HIV-positive'. The thing is, there were two of us in the room so I didn't know if they were talking about me or the other patient.

"Eventually, just before I was discharged, several doctors came to talk to me. I remember one doctor in particular - he was the worst. He told me I was very sick and there was no cure for what I had. He said I should go home and start dividing my things among my children because there was no way I would live beyond six months.

"When I got home I told my eldest son; he told me he already knew - the doctors at Kenyatta had told him. At the time, drugs were not free, so my children pulled together to support me. The drugs were so expensive - they cost 15,000 shillings [US$245] for a month's supply.

"At least now they are free - I get them from the Comprehensive Care Centre in Thika Hospital.

"I have had difficulty dealing with it, but eventually I was encouraged to go public because so many disabled people are suffering in silence. My kids complained at first, but they are now used to my public status.

"I also told the teachers at school. I joke with them; now ... when they annoy me I tell them to stop waking my virus up.

"At home it has been difficult. I am the only girl at home, and then I turned out to be disabled and now HIV-positive - what a hopeless girl! But I've told my brothers that I am the only sister they will ever have, so they need to deal with me and accept me as I am.

"Although it is not easy, life must go on and I keep on pushing. When I first went for my test my CD4 count [which measures the strength of the immune system] was 64, now it is 585!"

kr/he