"I didn't think the war would last so long"

When the New Forces rebels launched an armed insurrection against Cote D'Ivoire's government five years ago, Princess*, 41, who had tested positive for HIV the previous year, fled Bouake, the rebel stronghold, to seek refuge in her home village in the bush, about 30km away.

In 2000, after her husband's death, and that of her three-year-old daughter a few months later, Princess decided to listen to her doctor and take an HIV test.

"I didn't have any choice, I was ill all the time. I agreed to take the test because I was suffering too much," she told IRIN/PlusNews.

She was then living in the village with her eldest daughter, but travelled to the Centre for Solidarity and Social Action (CSAS), the biggest centre for HIV/AIDS care in Bouake, to take the test. She didn't know how to deal with the result.

"I was really shocked. The social worker [at the centre] tried to raise my spirits but I didn't know what to do. I wasn't living with my parents any more, and I couldn't go back to our village because I couldn't get [medical] care there; where was I going to go?"

The CSAS centre, which provides antiretroviral (ARV) medication to 800 people, "helped me to find a small house and pay the rent; they gave me food," she said.

The war started shortly afterwards. In the days following the attempted coup d'etat against Cote d'Ivoire's President Laurent Gbagbo in September 2002, Princess decided it was no longer safe in Bouake, where the rebels had set up their headquarters.

"I was scared; there was constant gunfire, we couldn't go out to get food," she told IRIN/PlusNews. "The CSAS centre was closed at the start of the crisis; we couldn't stay there."

Princess left the city on foot with her daughter to seek refuge with her family and was initially welcomed with open arms by a female relative, but the situation quickly deteriorated when Princess, who did not tell anyone she was HIV positive, was unable to help with family chores.

"There were constant arguments; there wasn't anything to eat and I didn't have any money," she said.

"Due to my health I couldn't go to the fields every day because it tired me out, but the others thought it was because I didn't want to help. I started feeling miserable; it was a life of suffering. I didn't think the war would last so long."

Princess had not yet started life-prolonging ARV treatment and had developed a number of HIV-related opportunistic infections that needed treatment, but the political crisis dragged on.

Finally, she confided her situation to one of her younger brothers, who was living in the Abidjan region, Cote d'Ivoire's large financial centre in the south. "My little brother came to the village. He encouraged me and paid for my medication," she said.

Despite this support, Princess no longer felt comfortable living with her family. In June 2004, she and her daughter returned to Bouake, where a level of calm had returned in spite of the ongoing political crisis.

In the nearly two years she had been away, however, her small house and the few possessions she had left there had been looted. "I was given the contact details of a 'big sister' [a supporter] at the [CSAS] centre, and she took us into her home," she said.

Princess is now on ARV treatment, but with the exception of her younger brother and her daughter, who is now 13 and HIV negative, nobody in her family knows her status.

Princess joined the Women's Association for Eternal Hope, which assists women living with HIV, and started leading awareness sessions for women coming to CSAS to be tested. The money she earned for her work meant that after a few months she was able to rent a small apartment.

"Some women [living with HIV] stayed during the war," she said. "[They] have suffered a lot too, because they [lived through] the violence. There was no food, no water, no money, and no [medication]."

* Not her real name

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