Ghaneswari Rai, Bhutan "I am too tired of being called a refugee"

"I was only five years old when I became a refugee. I have been living in a refugee camp for the last 17 years in Nepal with my parents and three young sisters after the royal government of Bhutan forced us out of our homes [Since 1985, more than 106,000 Bhutanese of Nepalese or Lhotsampa ethnicity have been living as refugees in Nepal after they were evicted from Bhutan following the implementation of a citizenship law stripping them of their citizenship and civil rights].

My great grandparents first came to Bhutan over 200 years ago. It is such a trauma living in a foreign country as a refugee where we have no hope of leading a normal life. In the last 17 years, we have seen many of the older people die. I have watched many of my childhood friends grow up from young boys and girls into men and women. Everyday, we had hoped that the king of Bhutan would have a change of heart and ask us to return to our homes.

I am now 22 years old and all my dreams have shattered. My despair is killing me. Depression is so rampant among the youth that many have become self destructive, left schools and colleges. What is the purpose of getting educated anyway? We cannot get good jobs in this country [Nepal] because as refugees we are often looked down upon, considered as beasts of burden.

The local Nepalese are also tired of seeing us everyday and they think we are responsible for many crimes committed near the camps. We need citizenship to get a job in Nepal. Even if we wanted to travel abroad to the Gulf or south-east Asia, we don't have passports.

Many are working under exploitative conditions. Several of our young female refugees have already become trafficked to work as forced prostitutes in India. We had hopes of India, the United Nations and Nepal to find a durable solution for us. But it has been so many years that we have stopped counting them.

We are so desperate that we are willing to live anywhere in the world now. We have given up on ever returning back to our home in Bhutan. But we don't want to be refugees anymore. I am too tired of being called a refugee."