Fikile Mabuza*, a young woman living in Johannesburg, South Africa, found out she was HIV-positive in 1998. She is about to get married to her high school sweetheart. Having been together for so long, her fiancé – who is HIV-negative – wasn't surprised when Mabuza said she was pregnant.
Unfortunately, she lost the baby in the seventh month of her pregnancy. She talked to IRIN/PlusNews about being in a discordant relationship and her hopes of motherhood.
"Sometimes it's hard [being part of a discordant couple] because sometimes you don't know what the other person is thinking about you; like when they talk about HIV on TV, I look over at him and he's so serious. I sometimes think, 'Maybe he doesn't want me to talk about [my status] or see my medication.'
"It's hard, but with him, he's supportive. When I first went to see if I could get on treatment, he went with me. He used to search the web and say, 'Okay, this medicine is the best.'
"He wanted to have a baby. Most of the time we practice safe sex and he keeps going for tests, and every time he comes back negative. Falling pregnant wasn't my plan but he wasn't surprised. He was very supportive when I was pregnant because he was really one of the only ones who knew my status.
"Sometimes he used to ask me what if his parents know about my status. I told him I didn't have a problem with that because my family knows.
"My family used to worry [about my status] and ask me, 'What about the baby?' But I told them I was going to this clinic and everything would be fine. I don't know what happened to my baby.
"I would love to have another baby - I would love to have twins! We'll try soon. I'm excited, he's excited - he's always like, 'You know, I wouldn't mind trying now, but you need time to heal, you know? Maybe we'll try next year.'"
* Not her real name
llg/kn/he
Unfortunately, she lost the baby in the seventh month of her pregnancy. She talked to IRIN/PlusNews about being in a discordant relationship and her hopes of motherhood.
"Sometimes it's hard [being part of a discordant couple] because sometimes you don't know what the other person is thinking about you; like when they talk about HIV on TV, I look over at him and he's so serious. I sometimes think, 'Maybe he doesn't want me to talk about [my status] or see my medication.'
"It's hard, but with him, he's supportive. When I first went to see if I could get on treatment, he went with me. He used to search the web and say, 'Okay, this medicine is the best.'
"He wanted to have a baby. Most of the time we practice safe sex and he keeps going for tests, and every time he comes back negative. Falling pregnant wasn't my plan but he wasn't surprised. He was very supportive when I was pregnant because he was really one of the only ones who knew my status.
"Sometimes he used to ask me what if his parents know about my status. I told him I didn't have a problem with that because my family knows.
"My family used to worry [about my status] and ask me, 'What about the baby?' But I told them I was going to this clinic and everything would be fine. I don't know what happened to my baby.
"I would love to have another baby - I would love to have twins! We'll try soon. I'm excited, he's excited - he's always like, 'You know, I wouldn't mind trying now, but you need time to heal, you know? Maybe we'll try next year.'"
* Not her real name
llg/kn/he
This article was produced by IRIN News while it was part of the United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs. Please send queries on copyright or liability to the UN. For more information: https://shop.un.org/rights-permissions
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